Married Life

I love being married! Gena and I hitched up on August 16, 1986. After 21 years of being married to the same woman, I can still say the institution marriage is a wonderful thing. I'm crazy about this wife of mine! I hear people from all walks of life(even Christians) degrade marriage. What a shame that their experience with this relationship has caused them to see their marriage as a bad thing. We celebrated ValentinesDay(The Lover's Holiday) last week. I hope you married folks had something to celebrate. Here are some ideas that may keep the celebration going.

>Make the Effort. Spend the time, energy, and money that you spent during the dating years. It's amazing how little effort is given to marriage.

>Keep the Romance. Practice your Love relationship. Hold hands, hug, kiss, etc.. You loved those things while you were Courting your spouse. Why did you stop?

>Protect the Union. Never allow anything to separate you from this treasured relationship. Busyness, temptations, work, even 'the kids,' can have a way of driving a wedge between you. The marriage relationship must be the priority of your life, just below your relationship with God.

If you want to see a picture of a 'Red-hot' marriage, there's a book you might want to read. The title of the book is "Song of Solomon." It is actually a sub-section of another book called "The Holy Bible." Surprised! You may find that book has a lot to say about Married Life.

Ridiculous!!

I don't mean to just go crazy and rant, but I simply can't believe the federal government is taking it's time and our resources to investigate the use of steroids in Major League Baseball. Unbelievable! The last few days we have read in the papers and watched the TV news cover the investigation that was led initially by what is referred to as the "Mitchell Report." From what I have heard, "Mitchell" is retired from office in the House of Representatives. Yet we see now an official "committee" made up of active House members. My question is, "Do they not have more important items of national and international concern, than their inquiry as to whether or not Roger Clemens used steroids?" PLEASE!!!!! This is ridiculous, and needs to be addressed! I'm not in any way saying that the use of illegal drugs should be tolerated in any fashion. But what I am saying is that with all of the major issues going on in our world today, what does the U.S. House of Representative have to do with this? This is another clear indicator of the terrible imbalance that seems to pervade in our society. Multi-millionaires who dictate the "News" of the day, and the spending of tax dollars simply because they are screw-ups. Please tell me there are more important issues than this.
What can you do? You can voice your opinion to your representatives. Call your representatives and senators and let them know that you are outraged at the idea of federal representatives spending resources on such ridiculous issues. You can find the phone numbers of your elected officials in the "Blue Pages" of the phone book. Let them know - "This is Ridiculous!!!"

Core Values

For today's Blog, I introduce John Chasteen, a guest writer. John is a Leadership Coach from Oklahoma. I think you'll find his work challenging and inspiring. Here's a link to his blog if you would like to check it out after reading this article:http://www.blogger.com/www.heycoachjohn.com. My next post should be out tomorrow. I'm going to be venting a little, so be warned!


Core values are essential to keeping your life on track
Core Values – everybody has them. As a matter of fact, we all live by them either consciously or subconsciously. They really are the driving force behind our lives.

Many of our core values do not originate from ourselves; they were given to us by others. I guess you could call them hand-me down values. Of course, others you formed as you navigated through life.

So you might be asking,” how does one define a value?” I define a value as “a distinctive set of core beliefs by which one measures his or her priorities in life.”

Values are an essential part in keeping one’s life on track. When we clarify our values, we begin to lay down a plumb line for all our decisions. They help us to navigate as we face future crossroads in our life.

Do you want to find your values? Here are a couple of quick ways to help you get started in discovering your core values and help you hammer them into a values statement:

1. Your values will always show up in the form of patterns in your life

Author and speaker Doug Fike says, “Life’s patterns are what values look like when lived out”. A pattern is something you are consistently doing because you have a certain value.
If you can discern patterns that crop up in your life, whether good or bad, then you can begin to understand the underlying values behind them.
Start with a list of patterns that seem to define your life.
2. Oftentimes your values can be described in short, simple one or two word phrases

For instance, notice the following short word phrases and see if you can see a values pattern: “Spirit-filled and led, intimacy with God, quiet time, prayer.” These are a few of the short phrases that I use to describe my values on Spiritual life.

Now, take any category like marriage, personal development, or family for example, and begin to jot down phrases, images, or a short series of words to describe the way you feel about it. In reality, these are your values.

Keep working on them, refining and rephrasing them for a more defined set of core values.

Conclusion:
I suggest you practice the above exercises in ten key areas of your life; they are as follows:
1. Spiritual life
2. Marriage/single life
3. Family and children
4. Work
5. Church and ministry
6. Financial stewardship
7. Physical stewardship
8. Personal development
9. Social stewardship
10.Recreation and hobbies
If you would like to see my set of core values in these areas, click on the “about” section in the upper left hand corner of this blog.
"Guard your heart above all else for it determines the course of your life". Solomon - Prov. 4:23 NLT
Hope this helps!

Coach John

Works Cited: Doug Fike, Life Focus Resources, Transformational Leadership Coaching, 2005

Be Still

I remember as a young child, there were many times I found my seat beside Mama on the front pew of the Church. As you know, boys will be boys, and I sure fit the bill. I struggled with being as still as the requirements called for in a chuch meeting. I had "ants in my pants," and if I couldn't settle down enough to get a little shut-eye while my Daddy was preaching, I usually invited the "wrath of Mama" sometime during the Church service. There were times that a trip outside was required where we would carry out our 'Hickory Dance' ritual(I always hated a switch!). But usually correction came with what I call, a 'twist-a-pinch', after I refused the warning to "Be Still!". Just in case you don't know what a 'twist-a-pinch' is, that's when you pinch a little piece of flesh and twist at the same time. I know - I was abused!(Truth is, I - just like most of you - probably needed a few more 'twist-a-pinches' in my time.) It was hard - and still is - to Be Still! Yet there are times when it is necessary. Why?
1>It's Safe! Too many times we find ourselves acting on our own without God. We are prone to get anxious, especially in difficult times, and get out of step with God. Remember, if you decide to step out there on your own, you are "on your own!" (Boy, that's Deep stuff, ha!)
2> It's Best! Remember when Moses is standing at the Red Sea, with the Egyptian army right on his tail. Moses said to to the people "...be still and see the salvation of the Lord."(Exodus 14) It was the Best option!
3>It's a Guarantee! When I can allow things to be set in God's hands and timing, I will always come out on the winning side.
For those of us that are a 'Type A', aggresive type disposition, Being Still is one of the most difficult things that we will ever do. I've screwed up so many things by acting on my own. Yet as I have maybe mellowed a little in life, I find that one of the greatest actions that I can take is the act of Being Still.
Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God."

"My Right to Privacy"

Continuing with some thoughts on the last blog, "A Public Character," I wanted to suggest some of my thoughts and helps in maintaining a proper private life. We all face the urge to "let things go" sometime. I challenge you to take these steps to strengthen your private life.
Live with a certain degree of transparency. We live such private lives in today's society. No wonder it is easy to cover our character flaws. No one is allowed "inside" anymore. Open the door to your life to others. If I have nothing to hide, then why hide?
Find someone to keep you accountable. I'm not talking about a personal support group that acknowledges like flaws. I'm talking about someone who will 'bust your butt' when you get out of line.
Realize that your private conduct ultimately affects my kids. I hear people make the comment - "what I do in the privacy of my own home does not affect anybody but me!" That's Bull! What you do in the privacy of your own home eventually walks out the door with you or your kids into the public sectar where my kids live. No one "lives to themselves."
Stop justifying your actions. One reason people live different lives in private is this sense of entitlement. They feel justified in the oversights and indulgences that they entertain in their private life. They "work hard" and they "pay the price" in public and feel they deserve a recourse in the privacy of their own lives.

I realize that we are in a complex society that has placed so many demands on our lives that there are neccessary outlets. Yet those outlets can not be allowed to influence our character or conduct. I write this blog from the perspective of my own personal battles and challenges, recognizing there are limitations on my "Right to Privacy."